The Career Connect Centre is home to 5000 young people every year, in a critical age group of 14-23 years, coming from difficult circumstances and sometimes unsupportive environments, empowering them with the important life skills of making choices and decisions. The young people that come here have mostly dropped out of the school system or are unable to continue higher secondary/undergraduate education. The Centre gives them access to a viable alternative where through short-term programmes they can enhance their livelihood skills. When these young people need to make critical life choices, what they lack most are support systems or just a space where they can be truly authentic about their feelings. At the Centre, they have empathetic adults who hold space for them and help build critical life skills to make right choices.
Written below is the story of Apsara (name changed), an exceptional young woman who has, through the help of an empathetic adult at the Centre, made some difficult choices in life, taking her one step closer to thriving.
Apsara (Young Person): I am Apsara, 18-years-old, pursuing my first year of PUC. My father is a lorry driver while my mother is a flower vendor. My sister is differently abled, having to drop out of education and my brother works as a taxi driver. During my primary education, I was forced to drop out of school for two years as there were some family issues and financially, we were struggling. Fortunately, my family strived to help continue my education, leading to me going back to school. A friend told me about the Career Connect Centre and for the past two months, have been part of the Basic Computers Skill Development Programme.
Hemalatha (Facilitator): In one of the Life Skills sessions, called ‘Healthy Relationships’, I remember Apsara proudly shared that she has a boyfriend during the check-in question. I observed that as the life skill activity progressed, she became sad. During the reflection circle, she remained silent and seemed very disturbed. To my utter surprise, she began walking towards me, after the session got over. This was surprising because since the time Apsara began coming to the Centre, she seemed unhappy and troubled, with very few friends, keeping mostly to herself. When I used to observe her during the sessions, I always got the feeling that Apsara was going down the wrong path because she came to the Centre to only use Facebook, switching off the laptop as soon as I entered the room. Being sad and silent, she would interact very little during the session time.
Apsara: I used to hardly interact with anybody at the Centre because as I was growing up, I made some really bad decisions when making friends. Using all the information I had shared with them in trust, they used to spread them and make fun of me. Not understanding how to deal with this situation, I began to avoid them. As a result, I began distancing myself from people and used social media like Facebook to engage myself.
Hemalatha: When Apsara approached me, having gained trust in me, she started sharing her personal story. She narrated how when she was pursuing her seventh-grade, a childhood friend expressed his interest in her. Being a bit shy and unsure of herself, she rejected him. However, as two years passed, the same boy asked her out again but this time, through her best friend. Apsara’s friends forced her to accept his proposal, claiming that he was a good choice, so giving in to peer pressure, accepted his proposal. For the past six years, they have been together in a relationship.
Apsara: Being unaware of the concept of an unhealthy relationship, whatever happened during the course of the relationship I always accepted and never questioned. It was only during the reflection session of this session Hema Akka was conducting did I understand that I was in a highly unhealthy relationship. My boyfriend used to be on drugs and when I tried to advise him, he would pretend to listen to me at the time but once he was under the influence of these drugs, would behave disrespectfully towards me and not treat me very well. Through the activity, ‘Take a Stand’, I realised that I was choosing a wrong life partner and decided to take a stand for myself as this was slowly beginning to affect my focus on education. I decided to break up with my boyfriend and end this unhealthy relationship.
Hemalatha: During the sessions, when she would share what she was going through with me, I held space for her. I just gave her space to talk about her feelings. Through her sharing and voicing out of what was happening with her boyfriend, she began to process how his behaviour towards her was unacceptable and moreover how it was making her feel more and more helpless. With great courage, Apsara took initiative and made a positive change in her life and ended her relationship. It wasn’t an easy decision to make as they had been together for so long but she made it nonetheless, putting her own interests first. Focusing on her education and career, she dreams of supporting her family financially. Today, Apsara is a strong young woman, who has shown a significant change in her attitude and behaviour, making bold life decisions not only for herself but for her family.
Violence Against Women
Globally, according to available statistics, one out of every three women has experienced violence in an intimate relationship at some point in her life. This is an average, gathered from available national surveys across industrialised and developing countries (World Health Organisation, 1997). This number might increase considerably if we consider those that have gone unreported. Empowering young women like Apsara to take initiative and step out of abusive relationships is enabling them to take control of their lives. In the presence of supportive relationships, these young women can confidently step up and out of unhealthy relationships.